No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
