You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
