I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
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his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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