Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
areolas are like halos for boobs.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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