I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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