Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->

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  (805): who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big --> http://tfl.nu/8d2r
  Replies (9) Good night (707) Bad night (2411)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.

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  (502): Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall. http://tfl.nu/wfv4
  Replies (6) Good night (1059) Bad night (3053)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"

  (231): View more from Michigan

  OMG its one we used last night

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  (231): Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing" (231): OMG its one we used last night http://tfl.nu/jpyf
  Replies (19) Good night (1225) Bad night (9378)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw

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  (717): looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw http://tfl.nu/7d00
  Replies (5) Good night (3669) Bad night (1021)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it

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  (404): im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it http://tfl.nu/4p1k
  Replies (4) Good night (2216) Bad night (602)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?

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  (410): So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right? http://tfl.nu/zwo3
  Replies (15) Good night (2988) Bad night (1322)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore

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  (910): I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore http://tfl.nu/qak0
  Replies (6) Good night (1752) Bad night (626)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?

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  (865): I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say? http://tfl.nu/q9jp
  Replies (8) Good night (766) Bad night (1122)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?

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  (778): they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date? http://tfl.nu/4653
  Replies (1) Good night (558) Bad night (940)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.

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  (502): I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm. http://tfl.nu/jrsq
  Replies (5) Good night (1237) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.

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  (785): That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA. http://tfl.nu/53zt
  Replies (4) Good night (1488) Bad night (483)
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  (516): View more from New York

  So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.

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  (516): So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two. http://tfl.nu/ti8k
  Replies (1) Good night (462) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.

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  (740): Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know. http://tfl.nu/rt7w
  Replies (1) Good night (669) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.

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  (213): She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay. http://tfl.nu/t6l3
  Replies (1) Good night (591) Bad night (405)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  Um. We all know how I feel about sea life

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  (330): I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us (1-330): Um. We all know how I feel about sea life http://tfl.nu/ddf3
  Replies (1) Good night (739) Bad night (214)

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