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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.

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• (619): View more from California

  there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...

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  These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire

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• (281): View more from Texas

  Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning

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• (360): View more from Washington

  He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.

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• (707): View more from California

  After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL

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  25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (623): View more from Arizona

  this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.

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