i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
