i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
