she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
