found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
