He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize