Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
