Already got asked if we're dating
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
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He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
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Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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