break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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