I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize