i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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