No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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