He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful