Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
high people should be assigned attendants
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito