Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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