honey bunches of taint.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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