it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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