my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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