weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
