Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
