good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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