plz talk dirty to me
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
