took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Terrible idea I love it
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
