I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm at about main and main street
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
