then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
