It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
