you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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