We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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