I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My liver just had a heart attack.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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