great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I have aggressive nipples.
The power of my boobs compel you
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
