there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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