you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
