guys are not supposed to queef...right?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
