I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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