you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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