I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
