Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
