piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
