Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
