do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
