please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
