arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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