I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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