please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
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Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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