fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
