Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
