with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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