Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
