Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
