my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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