JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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