I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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