Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
