No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
