google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
