Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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