I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
