Pappa wants mamma naked
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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