Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
