Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
