this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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