You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Randomize
