It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
my shit smells like andre
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
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i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
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Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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