you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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