just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
