found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
