I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize
